http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/index.html http://media.miamiherald.com/images/logos/rss_sitelogo.gif http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/index.html 140 25 News, sports and entertainment from MiamiHerald.com en-us Copyright 2008 MiamiHerald.com Dave Barry 60 Wed, 20 Aug 2008 08:30:30 EDT http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss McClatchy Interactive's PubSys miamifeedback@miamiherald.com http://www.miamiherald.com/dave_barry/gift-guide/story/316652.html http://www.miamiherald.com/dave_barry/gift-guide/story/316652.html Sat, 24 Nov 2007 15:01 EST We have assembled a collection of gift concepts so unusual, so distinctive, that you will say: ''You made those up, right?'' No. There is not enough eggnog in the world. All of the Holiday Gift Guide items are actual products that you can buy (except for one that might be imaginary, which is just as well). http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/628743.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/628743.html Sun, 17 Aug 2008 03:01 EDT <em>(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published July 1, 2001.)</em><br /> What lies ahead for the European Union? This question is very much on the minds of concerned journalists looking for a way to take a tax-deductible vacation abroad. For this reason, I recently spent several weeks assessing the mood in a broad cross-section of Europe, ranging all the way from Paris, France, to several other parts of France. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/644789.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/644789.html Sat, 16 Aug 2008 12:17 EDT I'm going to miss this crazy town. I have to go back to Miami, because my daughter starts school Monday. (Miami-Dade public schools start in mid-August, which seems insanely early, but it's the only way to guarantee that the school year will be disrupted by hurricanes.) http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/643463.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/643463.html Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:37 EDT The most popular tourist attraction in Beijing is the Forbidden City, which gets its name from the fact that my mother-in-law has forbidden us to ever take her there again. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/641774.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/641774.html Thu, 14 Aug 2008 10:00 EDT I was in the mood to have blood spurt from my ears, so I decided to take in the Beijing rock scene. I went with some other Americans to a club called Star Live, which was presenting a rock show called Youth Party of China. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/639993.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/639993.html Thu, 14 Aug 2008 03:57 EDT If you're the kind of person who enjoys shopping and lying, you would love the Beijing Silk Market. The Silk Market is a jam-packed, seven-story building, very popular with tourists, where you can buy a LOT more than just silk, including clothes, jewelry, luggage, watches, sunglasses, gadgets, knickknacks and, for all I know, missile parts. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/638796.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/638796.html Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:39 EDT The Olympic Games are not about winning or losing. The Olympic Games are about improving international friendship and understanding, by which I mean: winning. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/637133.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/637133.html Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:16 EDT I went to see the Beijing Opera, a traditional Chinese art form that combines singing, mime, dancing and acrobatics. I would say the highlight was the food. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/636540.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/636540.html Sun, 10 Aug 2008 18:23 EDT Here's how you get around Beijing. First you go to the hotel front desk, which will be staffed by 17 people. This is one of the nice things about China: There are always plenty of people around to help. For example: In some men's rooms, there are attendants whose sole function, as far as I can tell, is to direct you to the urinals. You walk in, and there's a guy, and he makes this gesture toward the urinals, which are roughly two feet away, his point being, ''Here are the urinals.'' And no, you do... http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/620663.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/620663.html Sun, 10 Aug 2008 03:01 EDT <em>(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published Oct. 17, 2004.) </em><br />I started lifting weights. But not for the reason you think. You think I want to look ''cut'' and ''ripped'' and have bulging muscles like the ones on male underwear models, who for some reason are always shown posing outdoors, looking sullen, as if a group of even more muscular models stole their pants. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/635245.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/635245.html Sat, 09 Aug 2008 13:20 EDT I have good news and bad news about the food here. The good news is, there's a lot of excellent food, and it can be unbelievably cheap. Four of us went to a restaurant near our hotel and ate a delicious and plentiful dinner, including Peking duck and other dishes, as well as a number of large Chinese beers, and the total bill was $23. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/633880.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/633880.html Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:37 EDT I came here to see the Great Wall of China. To make the trip, you get a taxi in Beijing, then take the Great Wall Freeway to the Great Wall exit. Really. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/632564.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/632564.html Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:22 EDT In ancient times, a Westerner had to journey for months, even years, to reach China. Today, thanks to modern air travel, it takes much longer. I estimate that the plane I was on flew around the entire Earth three times before we got here. By the time we landed, I had a near-fatal case of a medical condition that is known, technically, as ``monkey butt.'' http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/612227.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/612227.html Sun, 03 Aug 2008 03:01 EDT <em>(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published April 15, 2001.)</em><br /> The other day, my son and I were talking, and the subject of women came up, and I realized that it was time he and I had a Serious Talk. It's a talk every father should have with his son; and yet, far too often, we fathers avoid the subject, because it's so awkward. The subject I'm referring to is: buying gifts for women. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/604387.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/604387.html Sun, 27 Jul 2008 03:01 EDT <em>(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published July 8, 2001.) </em><br />There's nothing like taking your family on a camping trip-getting away from civilization, sleeping under the open sky, looking up into the heavens and gazing upon an awe-inspiring vista of millions and millions of ... what ARE those things? Bats? Very large mosquitoes? Oh NO! They've taken little Ashley! http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/596289.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/596289.html Sun, 20 Jul 2008 03:01 EDT <em>(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published Sept. 21, 2003) </em><br />Every so often, I head for Sun Valley, Idaho, because I have friends there, and because Idaho contains large quantities of nature. The problem is that my friends are never content to sit around with a cool beverage and look at the nature from a safe distance, as nature intended. No, my friends want to go out and interact with the nature in some kind of potentially fatal way. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/588562.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/588562.html Sun, 13 Jul 2008 03:01 EDT <em>(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published Nov. 4, 2001.) </em><br />Welcome to another episode of ''Ask Mister Language Person,'' the column written by the language expert who recently won the World Wrestling Federation Grammar Smackdown when he kneed William Safire right in the gerunds. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/580079.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/580079.html Sun, 06 Jul 2008 03:01 EDT <em>(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published April 21, 2002.) </em><br />The United States is developing an Odor Bomb. ''Why?'' you are saying. ''Don't we already have New Jersey?'' http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/572196.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/572196.html Sun, 29 Jun 2008 03:01 EDT <em>(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published July 7, 2002.)</em><br />Summer is a lazy, relaxed, carefree time of year, when our thoughts turn to the possibility that our flesh will be stripped from our bones by millions of razor-sharp mandibles. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/563854.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/563854.html Sun, 22 Jun 2008 03:01 EDT <em>(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published March 9, 2003.)</em><br /> When we think of Wisconsin, we think of it as the nation's Heartland -- a placid place where you can park your car anywhere and leave it unlocked, with the key in the ignition, knowing that no matter how long you're gone, when you return your car will be covered with cheese. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/572700.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/572700.html Tue, 17 Jun 2008 03:01 EDT I decided to go scout the Miami Dolphins on Monday, to see how they look this year. This is important, because the Dolphins represent South Florida's manhood, and last season we had the same community testosterone level as the audience for a Barbra Streisand concert. The Dolphins lost 15 games and won only one, which I believe was against Princeton. http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/555248.html http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/555248.html Sun, 15 Jun 2008 03:01 EDT <em>(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published May 23, 2004.)</em><br /> Before we get to today's column, I have an important announcement regarding outsourcing. ''Outsourcing'' is a business expression that means, in layperson's terms, ''sourcing out.'' It's a trend that started years ago in manufacturing, which is a business term that means ''making things.'' You youngsters won't believe this, but there was a time when Americans actually made physical things called ''products'' right here in America.